Maddie sent me this from someone in Mirykas ward. I just thought it was so nice of him. Words Matter!
Hi Maddie,
Or I guess I should say Sister DeLoach! My name is Rob Judson. I got your e-mail address from Miryka Garner who lives in my ward in Pleasant View, UT. I hope you are loving and killing it on your mission! Sorry for the subject line, but your story of "Maddie Fattie" has really made an impact on me since I listened to you talk about your life, story and platform when you came out and talked to the Young Women in our ward--probably a year and a half ago or so for our ward's Young Women in Excellence night or whatever they call it. I had a 12 year old daughter at the time and went that night because my wife told me that's what I was supposed to do. :) I remember walking into the Relief Society room that night to find and seat and seeing you standing in the other doorway. For a split second I seriously thought I was looking at an angel sent from above or some other heavenly being. I'm sure that is coming across as totally creepy--sorry about that..what I mean by that is that you were literally oozing with the spirit. You are obviously a beautiful girl, but the spirit was just radiating from you. And you weren't even saying a word at that point.
And then you did. I absolutely loved everything you had to say that night to these girls. The love you have for the Savior and the love you were extending to the girls in that room was so powerful. I loved your B.R.A.V.E. platform. And probably most of all, I loved the Maddie Fattie story. I know that was obviously a very painful period in your life, but I loved the fact that you were willing to share it in hopes of preventing girls in that room from doing the same thing to other kids, and also that what something that someone else does or says to these girls, doesn't define who they are. That they are daughters of God and that he loves them and that THAT is what defines who and what they are.
I coach my daughter's fastpitch softball team which is made up of 12 fourteen year old girls. We practice/play year round, so I get to spend a lot of time with these girls. I've used your Maddie Fattie story multiple times with these girls--sometimes when talking to the entire team, and sometimes in one on one meetings with them. It usually goes something like this--Our ward once had this girl come talk to our Young Women. She was a beautiful girl, competed in several contests/pageants, was well spoken, intelligent, and had an amazing spirit about her. She is the kind of girl who has everything in the world going for her. You would think she never had to deal with anything difficult in her life. Then I tell them the Maddie Fattie story. I don't remember the exact details, but I tell them that it takes 13 compliments to outweigh one negative comment. Sometimes I change the # to 50. I don't remember what exactly it is, but they get the point. I encourage them to always be positive to each other whether they are on or off the field. Our team "motto" for this year is 12 United. I try to help them understand how powerful their words can be for good or for bad. That you can't take back or "un say" something after it's been said. And that the damage from their words sometimes can't be undone. I'm now a 41 year old man, and I still remember hurtful things that were said to me from 30 years ago. People have said a lot of good things about me as well, but it's funny/sad how our human nature is to remember the negative things. I still occasionally find myself struggling with my own insecurities and self worth. And I'm 41. I know these girls are living that struggle x 100 every day.
I don't know if your message impacted them as much as it impacted me, but I just wanted to let you know that you did make a meaningful impression on me that night. And now I'm trying to do my best to pass that message along to the girls on my team, to the 14 year olds in my Sunday School class, and now to the Young Men that I am working with in our ward. I wish I would have said something to you that night, or that I would have sent this e-mail to you a year ago. I'm sorry for that. I hope you are absolutely loving your mission and the people you are serving. I'm sure you are an incredible missionary. I know you are doing what the Lord wants you to do, and you are setting an amazing example to all of the Young Women groups and anyone else you have interacted with in the past. Keep up the good work. You have done and are going to continue to do amazing things in life!
Thanks,
Rob Judson
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