DID YOU ALWAYS WANT TO SERVE A MISSION?
No, serving was never a desire of mine, although I loved the gospel and loved people, I knew that I could never be good enough, I knew that I could never leave my family. It really never crossed my mind. I decided because everyone from Delta High School attended school down south that I would go north.. to Utah State. It was really far, I went alone, but little did I know that it was all part of Gods plan. My favorite class was interpersonal communications, and I loved my teacher. I went to class anxious to learn daily and one day specifically we were talking about culture. Every single time my teacher said the word culture I would feel the warmest/strongest prompting from the spirit, and I felt it say "You need to go on a mission". I couldn't believe it, but it truly happened every time she said culture. That night we decided to have some friends over, and few boys who played basketball for Utah State. Sean Harris one of my closest friends out of no where, not knowing the experience I had earlier that day said, "Have you ever thought about serving a mission?" Confused I looked at him and he said he just felt like he should ask. I told him of my experiene and he read D&C 4:3 to me, "If ye have desires to serve ye are called to the work." My problem was that I lacked a desire, but I knew what I felt. The next day I texted Bishop Hill, a man who completely changed my life. I asked him if I could meet with him and discuss somethings on my mind. Of course, he said no problem, and we decided to meet. I told him of my desire to serve based off the feeling I had and the experiences, and he told me that they had received a letter from the first presidency to fast and pray for missionary work, so he suggested that on Sunday me and him fast, and from there we can let others know and we can decide. I agreed and felt very nervous to receive an answer. I think I knew all along it was YES but still lacked a desire. I fasted Sunday and nothing super special happened, I almost ended my fast when the first councilor in the Bishopric asked if he could set me apart for my calling as the Ward Prayer Coordinator. He set me apart, and almost ended the blessing when he paused and began to weep. Not knowing I was fasting, he said in the blessing, "Sister DeLoach, the Lord is aware of your desire to serve and wants you to go forth with your desire." The Spirit was so strong, we were both weeping, he asked if he could give me a hug, and said, "I am not sure if this is what you are praying for, but the answer is quite clear." I knew that night I would serve a mission, but being prideful, I still wanted more of an answer. I went to the temple with my friend, Sarah Otteson, and wanted to ponder while we waited for Baptisms. I swear it was the only day the temple was empty, so there was no time to ponder, it was get baptized and changed. No one knew but I told Heavenly Father that if someone said something about a mission, I would go. The whole time the people were so lovely, but quite in a hurry, so they never spoke about a mission. To be honest, I was quite happy thinking this was a sign that NO it wasn't for me. As we changed and were about to leave another lady came in, the only other person in the temple. She stopped us and looked at me, and said, "You look just like my daughter, but she in on a mission." I could no longer deny it, the Lord had spoken to me. I now knew exactly what needed to happen. I told my parents, they were both excited, but they didn't know if I would actually go or not. At this point when I knew I now wanted the papers to go quick, I wanted to be out now. I started my papers, I even finished the online part in like two days, and then I went for my medical exam. The day before my medical exam I felt my heart flutter, which is quite scary coming from a family with heart problems, I called my Dad, and he told me to tell the Dr. Tomorrow. The Dr. suggested that I do an EKG, she put one on, saw something irregular, and said to be cleared I would need to see a Cardiologist. I felt devistated when I called and they were scheduled 6 weeks out. I called back 3 weeks in and they said they just had a cancellation so to come tomorrow. The Dr put me on an EKG for 48 hours, told me that my heart rate accelerates quickly, but that it was nothing he was concerned about. During all of this, I was feeling quite bad for myself. I went to institute, the Book of Mormon class and my teacher told us a story of how his son has heart failure, and how he just got to do a make a wish trip. He said how he was so grateful because His son will probably die soon. I talked with Brother Salmon after, and told him of my experience, and how grateful I was for his example. He gave me a blessing, and he promised me that the Dr would say what the Lord intended, and he did exactly that. I was now cleared to go on a mission. I learned the lesson of Pride that day, and the need that I have to more fully trust in the Lord and His perfect timing. At this point I continued to work super hard with Bishop Hill and President Killpack to be able to serve. While in my interview with President Killpack, he said he doesn't usually share this, but he wanted me to know. I guess Bishops write recommendations, and Bishop Hill wrote one, that moved me to tears. He said how not only has my desire to change influenced him, but without my knowledge, two of my friends have spoken with him and were now working to over come things also. I felt so grateful, I remember receiving my "Big Girl" temple recommend, and the joy that I felt. I ran out of that building waving it in the air. I felt like I truly felt the Atonement that day, that he truly did know and love me. His grace was sufficient even for me, especially for me. I tried preparing the best that I could, I read the scriptures and preach my gospel every single night, but for me that wasn't the best preparation. When I received my call, I drove from USU to Delta with my friend Avery Smith, and Kappy from the post office delivered it at 6 am. I remember feeling joy, nerves, excitement and peace. It's a surreal feeling I cannot explain. I gathered together in a small group of a few family members, and friends. The moment came to open my call, I held in my hands a paper signed by the prophet of the world, and with tears in my eyes read aloud. "Sister DeLoach you are hereby called and assigned to labor in the New Zealand Hamilton Mission." The first response was from my mom, as I cried, she shouted, "It's okay Maddie, you don't have to go." It was a shock to me, and all I did was scream, "I don't even know where that is", I soon saw pictures and felt so excited. But I already knew the second I read it that this call truly was from the Lord, I felt an instant love for the people. My call letter said that I should report March 30, 2016, but a week after opening my call my Bishop called me in, and said he received an email that they would like me to report a week earlier, March 23, 2016 and I would now be assigned to the Visitors Centre also. I felt sad that I couldn't leave until March and it was only November. BUT the Lords timing is perfect. During this time, I got to live with my brother Dallin and his family who set such a great example of a happy family, I also got to live with Josh. For me this was the best preparation living in real life situations daily. My brother Josh let me talk to him about anything, and he listened. At this point he wasn't going to church, yet he would let me talk to him, and in turn he would share his experiences, and things that helped him on His mission. He showed me in word and deed that the Lord really is aware of all of His children. My brother Dayton, at this time also gave me great advice he said, "Picture everyone in white, see the guy with gauges in his ears, and the big Mohawk, and picture him in white." He taught me a valuable lesson, to see potential in all. Preparing I was able to see that in my brothers who remembered about their missions. I know that there is a reason that the Lord needed me to leave in March. I believe it was so that I could spend that extra time learning these lessons which I have strived to apply every single day in missionary work. I have come to see that if we trust in the Lord no matter what he may require of us, and in whatever timing, he always has our best interest at heart. A quote that I have had on my Missionary Handbook says, "You will come to know that what appears today to be a sacrifice, will prove instead to be the greatest investment that you will ever make." -Gordon B. Hinckley. I truly have come to see this, I remember in my setting apart blessing by President Rempp he said, "I will have companions that come from broken homes, and because of the way that I speak of my eternal family they will desire to have that for theirs, he also said that I would have great health and that I would be comfortable here." On my mission I have gotten extremely sick, appendix surgery, allergies to food, 2 chest infections, and strep throat. BUT I have never been to sick to come home, I have never been to sick to quit working. I definitely have seen that all I was set apart with was really true. I have come to see that what I expect often isn't what the Lord really meant. Sometimes time can only tell what he truly means, and sometimes we never even know. How truly blessed I am to make such a small sacrifice, which in turn has become the greatest investment and blessing in my life. I am in awe of the marvelous plan that Heavenly Father has in store for me, and the many trials these great things to come will bring. How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
WHY I CHOSE TO STAY?
Why I came and why I chose to stay truly are separate. I chose to stay because I love my Savior Jesus Christ, I chose to stay because I have felt His redeeming power, mercy, long-suffering and HIS forgiveness. I chose to stay because I know by giving him my everything he can make me a better me than I can ever make of myself. I chose to stay because I can do hard things, I have been given much so I too must give. I stayed because I have truly felt that this is something I agreed to and promised to do before this life. I know this place, and these people, they are all familiar. I chose to stay because nothing can compare to seeing another person change who believed that they could never change. I stayed because I have seen the hand of the Lord in my life, and I truly have been led to those whom he has prepared. Sometimes it was really hard to stay, sometimes I wanted to be on the next flight home, or even swim home.... BUT I chose to stay because in those moments, I felt the Saviors arms come around me and comfort me. I learned to endure beyond comprehension. I learned to love everyone, and to see them as Christ see's them. I learned that everyone is struggling with something, kindness truly goes a long way. I chose to stay because I have seen anti-mormons, become those who bare the strongest testimonies, I chose to stay because when other are in need, I know that I have a message that will help. I chose to stay because I understand now that it was all part of His greater plan. I chose to stay because the gospel is true, and I want others to be with their families forever. I call upon my ancestors from the other side, and they help me when in need, and I chose to stay so that others could experience that too. In short, I came because I was prompted, but I stayed because the truth is etched into every fiber of my being, and I love my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He lives, and this is truly His gospel, I chose to stay, BECAUSE OF HIM.
Arohanui,
Sister DeLoach
